


Mirrors in the Moonlight

by Snabulous



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-27 02:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12571728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snabulous/pseuds/Snabulous
Summary: A letter to Spock from James T. Kirk.





	Mirrors in the Moonlight

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  _Five hundred words on paper_   
>  _To tell you that I'm here_   
>  _I'm never going nowhere_   
>  _Until I hear you say I'm yours_   
>  _But your heart is armed_   
>  _Fear of love_   
>  _Mirrors in the moonlight_   
> 

Spock,

I’ve given myself five hundred words. Five hundred words to attempt to express what can never be truly expressed, say what can never be adequately said. It would be illogical to try, as you might say, but I have to put something to words. I think I would go crazy keeping it bottled inside me.

Emotions are illogical. You repeat that so often that I’ve begun to wonder who you’re trying to convince: everyone else or yourself? You feel. I know you feel. I’ve seen it on your face before, but you always catch yourself and act like nothing happened. Sometimes, I see some look flutter over your face and then disappear before I can name it. Sometimes, you smile with your eyes, and it’s so beautiful and brighter than a sun, and I can’t look away. You’ve probably noticed that, haven’t you? My staring, I mean. Did you know you smile with your eyes?

You would deny to your last breath that you feel anything. I know you well enough to be aware of that, at least. And I do know you, Spock. I know you.

But you know me, too. You have known me better than anyone because you have seen my mind. You have experienced my thoughts, and there is some connection left, some residual bond that I can't even begin to name. Perhaps that connection is the reason I feel so strongly for you. I have never been so known before.

Sometimes I wonder if knowing and loving might be the same thing after all.

I will likely never let you read this, Spock. I'd be surprised if I even keep this myself. There is no logical reason to continue. I should stop writing right here and just keep living like nothing is happening, like I don't think about you constantly, like I don't want to share everything with you, like I don't love you.

Now I'm definitely never letting you read this. I might as well say it all.

I am in love with you because I know you, and you know me. I feel connected with you as though a long, invisible thread has wrapped itself around my mind and yours, and I don't think I could ever break it. I am desperate to know if you feel the same or if your logic has overridden any notion of me. You're constantly on your guard, keeping me closer than others but still at a distance that makes my heart ache with such unbearable loneliness.

The worst part is that I think you could love me. You are capable of such strong, illogical, beautiful emotion, and the only thing that stops you is fear. Others might say it's your Vulcan heritage, but I know better. You're afraid of showing emotions, of letting others see them. Of suddenly not being a true Vulcan. With all your logic, you always forget that no love poetry anywhere is as lovely as it is on Vulcan.

-Jim Kirk

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Mirrors in the Moonlight - Noosa
> 
> This series of sorts is essentially a creative writing outlet for me in which I will mostly just be attempting to get better. There likely won't be any over arching plot or anything, just short little ficlets about Spirk. :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
